K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
