I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize