Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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