Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
