U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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