Ambien. No doubt about it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
