I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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