This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
