My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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