No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize