it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
