I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
