im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
