My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
