Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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