I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
