Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
