LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
They have beer where we have blood.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize