you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
