I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
