my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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