there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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