i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
