Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize