i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
3pm strippers are depressing
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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