Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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