i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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