My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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