You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
