Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
