Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
