I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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