i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
A bitchslap is in order.
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