I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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