We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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