I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Mom said you looked used
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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