I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
