piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
