i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you win again, gameday.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
