just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
And then he peed in my hair
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