So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
