i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
