I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
