sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
