the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
