Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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