You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
