Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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