i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
