The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize