thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
