A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
