You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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