omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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