Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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