Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
