Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Don't make out with my wife yet
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
