I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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