Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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