i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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