i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
