4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
