I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
