She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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