I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
