Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
